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Oh, my darling,
Thank-you for your concern. Yes, it has been such a long time since Europa! has written to you. Europa! has had a bad cough which probably began that night of the snowstorm. The power went out and the chalet got very cold and damp. Of course, Europa! slept through the whole thing and woke up shivering. The next night, Europa!'s throat began to itch, then hurt, and you know the rest...
But Europa! has just the thing to recover. The local Swiss village has a very quaint old spa, and the heat and healing waters are just what Europa!'s snow-chilled bones need.
Come in! Europa! will show you around.
The idea of public bathing in this part of Europe began with the Romans, who were a deliciously decadent people. As they conquered the land, they built roads, homes, and baths. Soon, Europeans caught on to this extravagance, and as their body odors vanished, their population grew... It was not until the Fall of the Roman Empire, and the rise of the Catholic Church that public nudity, and bathing, became frowned upon. People in Europe became very dirty, and this is referred to as the "Dark Ages". Then, someone invented soap, which led to the "Enlightenment". And soon, people were busy giving birth again, a period known as the "Renaissance".
Of course, Europa!'s spa does not date back to this time. It was built in the sixties, and is due for renovations. So you will see how things were done. Of course, in those days, Switzerland was at the cutting edge of the health, youth, and beauty movement, and stars from all over came to receive diet treatments and to have massages and baths. You notice, darling, that Europa! did not mention exercise... People did not excercise for fitness in those days; it was a more civilized time. It is all very well and good to pursue sweat and muscle pain, but then, they expect you to pay for it?
O, tempora! O, mores!No, darling, at this spa, they make you lie down for hours in the old-fashioned way while they massage you and slather you in filth for you own good. Just look at this!
Call it what you will, Europa! knows: This is a jar of filth.
This disgusting, dirty stuff is mud from the shores of the Dead Sea. This dirt is so rich in minerals that it killed all the living things around it. It is toxic, darling... so, what does Europa! do with it? Slathers it on and waits for it to harden before washing it off. Slather on, wash off... This makes no sense. But, Europa! came here to rest, not to argue.
While Europa! is waiting, covered in dirt, she has time to notice all the antique facilities. A shower spout especially confuses Europa!
Europa! wonders: "Retro chic" or just very old?
Besides making her lonely for Hørst, Europa! cannot decide if she wants it in her bathroom, or out of her sight. Europa! does not like having a home décor confusion. It makes her newly-massaged muscles tense again.
But all this, of course, only points to the venerable history of Swiss spas. Europa!'s favourite Swiss spa story is the one about Elizabeth Taylor's face-lift. She actually had a film made around her operation, (Ash Wednesday, 1973) which at the time, many stars had, but few would admit it. And they always came to Switzerland, claiming a vacation, and returning looking suspiciously refreshed, with a new hairstyle combed over the ears. Well, the film was scandalous, Richard Burton was scandalized, the public was scandalized... Europa! loved it... It was "cinéma verité" complete with stitches. Of course, now, you can watch everyone's intimate little operations on the telly, but in those days it was horrible and fabulous... just like Liz Taylor herself.
Europa! wonders: Is Liz Taylor retro-chic? Oh, well, until next time,
Kisses, darling,
Ciao!
Europa! 8-D
